Childhood memories

I often call up my parents , who reside in India , and during our conversations we happen to speak about my elder brother , Vikas (my only sibling). I love him , I am very possessive about him , I adore him, I follow him ................ he has been my guide , my teacher and a role model. There is a event I always recall when I speak about him or even remember him.

It was an evening when we were returning home from my Aunt's babysitting. I was about 7 years and he was 10 years old. We would go to our Aunt's place soon after the school as both our parents were employed and would return home in the evening when our parents would have reached home after their work. Our school bags would be too heavy and loaded that it would very difficult to carry . The bags would be so huge to accommodate all the books , that the kid carrying the bag would be buried under it and the scene would look like the bag have legs and is walking.

That evening we invented a game to amuse us and to help us reduce our load of bag. The game was also baptised at the same hour as it was invented , it was called " Free Game". That day it was the first and last time we played the game. The rules were , a distance would be set on the road using landmarks like a bougainvillea tree , an ice cream stall, a sugarcane juice seller , an apartment......... Between these landmarks , each of us would take alternative turns to carry all the luggage (school bags) , this would free the other person for a while and also the other one would carry the luggage free of cost ; hence the name "Free Game".

We had started playing this and we were half the distance to our home. It was Vikas's turn to carry the load . I was more than happy to load him . I was very happy that it was my turn to walk freely without my bag. But soon the turn ended and we had reached the landmark. It was my turn to carry . I was small and would be very difficult to carry two bags , but then it was the rule and I was to abide by it. I started carrying the load . There was an elderly man walking in the opposite direction. He looked at us and he was taken aback to see a younger sibling carrying all the bags and the older one happily walking . It looked to him that I was being bullied . He become furious and immediately he stopped us . He started shouting at Vikas and enlightening him as well . He told him " You being the oldest one , you are making the younger one carry all this. Do you have any senses ? Don't you have the basic knowledge ? How can you make this small girl carry all the luggage? Now come on take all the luggage and carry it . Don't trouble your sister again." He looked at me and indicated with his eye movements to give away all the bags to my brother. Me and my brother were completely stunned and shocked. We never thought that our game would lead to such horrific consequences. I was happy at the same time as my brother would have to carry both the bags home and the game would be in my favour . I giggled when Vikas started carrying the bags. No sooner the man disappered from sight , my brother started bullying me and handed my bag to me . We both fought on the road and returned home , but still the fighting wouldn't end. We complained to our parents about each other and let them decide and give the verdict "You are gulity" . I do not remember the verdict though but this event from the memory has been imprinted in my mind. I cant stop giggling whenever I remember this "Childhood memory".

FLove

"Its mid noon and I am already missing my husband" , I feel this everyday from the time he leaves the house till he returns back in the evening. Every morning he kisses my cheek before leaving to say "Goodbye". Lying on the bed lazily I turn my face to him , raise my arms and hold him and whisper " I love you . Come back soon after work." This words are not just a routine but the truth of my life.

I wake up and start my day with household work but still I miss him. The clock keeps ticking but the time never passes . In his absence , I still feel his presence around me and I talk to him although I realize he is not around till evening. I smell his shirts and hold the pillow tightly (on which he rests his head) against my chest .

In the evening , when he returns back home, I can't wait to touch him , embrace him tightly , kiss on his lips and say " I love you baby. I missed you sooooooooo much" . At night lying on the bed , I look at him playing with his new iPhone . I sense a strong feeling gush into my gut from my chest . Its not love , I know. Its a feeling beyond Love. Its a feeling when I want to hold his hand and crush it , when I want to bite flesh out of him , when I want to scratch his chest till it bleeds. Its not lust . I wonder what this feeling is? I call it FLOVE ; a feeling beyond love.